Wooden't You Agree?

J: So, I see that you did a little landscaping in the front lawn. What are those things anyways?
(Pa)^2: *shrug* Some sort of shrubbery. Your mother picked them.
J: Yeah, she's the plant expert. As for me, I probably wouldn't even be able to spot a fir tree if it bit me.
(Pa)^2: Somehow, I don't think that will be a problem.
J: True. That's the thing about trees. All bark, no bite.