Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Almost Verbatim

"Passengers on American Eagle Flight 4647 to Raleigh/Duhram will be boarding through Gate 34. To those of you traveling standby, it looks like we will have some seats available. But we won't let you know if you can fly until the last minute. So, just sit down and sweat for a while, and we'll make an announcement when we feel like it."

Saturday, November 26, 2005


L2: Hey, J, have you seen these socks?
J: Yeah. JP got me a pair for my birthday! Aren't they great?
L2: I don't know who came up with the idea for fuzzy socks, but I wonder how many teddy bears were killed and skinned to make them.

To Air is Human

Capt'n: Welcome to Raleigh/Duhram! No, that's not right. I thought-
Hang on.

Capt'n: Welcome to Washington Reagan National Airport! In Washington, DC. With continuing service to Raleigh/Duhram. That's more like it.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Time For More Posts (Add-Verbage)

*ring ring*

J: Hello?
Frank: Hi! Just called to see how the unpacking was going.
J: Ugh. Blech. Horrible. Frankly, I'd rather be at the beach.
Frank: You're supposed to say, "I'd rather be at the beach with you"!
J: That last part was implied.
Frank: Well, you did say "frankly".
J: Uh huh. I just slipped up in using the wrong part of speech. Turned you into an adverb, modifying the "frank". Not that I think you need to be modified. You're fine the way you are.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

My Printer's in a Box. Somewhere

J: Hi, I need several copies of this resume printed.
D: No problem. How many would you like?
J: Uhm. I have six interviews scheduled this week...how 'bout 15?
D: Sounds good. Bright white paper?
J: Yeah, I guess. Pink might be a bit over the top.
D: If you'll just wait here, I can ring you up at this register. Those pages will be out in a minute but, in the meantime, I'd be happy to charge you an arm and a leg for them.
J: And what's the current exchange rate for an arm and a leg?
D: $6.47.
J: Does the government approve of you selling cheap arms?