Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Warning: Movie Spoiler Ahead

J: How was your weekend?
HC: Pretty good. My mom took the kids see "Bridge to Terabithia". It was weird though - hey, you're not going to see it, are you? I can tell you the ending?
J: Go ahead. I doubt I'll be watching it.
HC: Okay, so JC comes home from the movies and....

HC: How was the movie?
JC: The little girl dies at the end. Mom, am I supposed to be sad?
HC: Well, honey, do you think it was sad that she died?
JC: Yeah. I guess it was kinda sad.
HC: Then I think it's fine for you can be sad about it.
JC: Oh, okay. I'm gonna go play now. Bye!

HC: That was not the reaction I was expecting. I mean, really..."Okay, I'm gonna go play now"?!
J: Dude, kids are strange.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Email Exchange w/L2

L2: Your crazy friend Corey is building this bed. From scratch. With WOOD. I'm so utterly amazed and impressed and underwhelmed with my own lack of talent.

J: My new project is to construct a bed out of cookie dough and knitted yarn! Cuz I have no skill with wood....
J: (On the other hand, I'll have to be very careful about drinking milk in my freshly-baked bed.)
J: (On the other hand, I'll now be able to make all kinds of jokes involving the phrase "rise and shine".)
J: (On the other hand, it's too bad I don't have kids. I could probably come up with something appalling involving "the son will rise in the yeast".)
J: (How many hands do I have anyways? Three? Four? Now I really CAN claim to be handy!)
J: Oh wait. Cookie dough doesn't contain yeast. Nor does it rise. Um...bread dough. Yeah. That's what I meant. D'oh!

L2: Ok, so my gut juvenile response is a very innocent "You weren't previously able to make "rise and shine" jokes about being in bed?"

All Bite, No Bark

W: Oh, ow! Neko keeps nipping at my hands.
J: Yeah, she does tend to do that. It's like purr-purr-mreow-*chomp*.
W: If she keeps this up, I'll have no fingers left.
J: Naw, she wouldn't bite them all off. She'd leave the index fingers. Cuz otherwise there'd be no point....
W: Heh. Right. Well, losing all my fingers sure would make it difficult to count to 10.
J: I disagree. You could still count. You'd just have to use your feet. That would toe-tally work.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Oral Exam

I love my dentist:

"If fear and anxiety have prevented you from seeking the dental care you need, our office offers a safe and comfortable alternative through oral sedation. It only requires a small pill taken orally. Under sedation, you will be unaware of the procedure that is taking place, drifting pleasantly into a semi-conscious sleep-like state. When the sedation wears off, you will feel like you have just woken up from a peaceful nap, with no memory of what transpired. Oral sedation allows you to experience anxiety-free dentistry in a safe and relaxing environment."

Friday, February 23, 2007

Wooden't You Agree?

J: So, I see that you did a little landscaping in the front lawn. What are those things anyways?
(Pa)^2: *shrug* Some sort of shrubbery. Your mother picked them.
J: Yeah, she's the plant expert. As for me, I probably wouldn't even be able to spot a fir tree if it bit me.
(Pa)^2: Somehow, I don't think that will be a problem.
J: True. That's the thing about trees. All bark, no bite.